The move is sneaking up on me much quicker than I’d anticipated. A week from today a removals firm is coming to pack and remove most of our furniture and belongings. I have been doing some packing myself. C hasn’t had a chance. 1st August is the day that I leave sunny Surrey and head to Hampshire. C and I are both getting a bit nervous. It’s a big move by English standards. At least that what all our friends/colleagues keep telling us.
Today I’m off and I’m meant to use this day to finish packing up the personal items that we don’t want the removals company to handle. The sun is shining outside and I’m reluctant to spend my day indoors.. I’m finding myself working for five minute spurts then going into the garden for twenty minutes.
I’ve not been good at coping with change. Work colleagues have noticed abs they’re making it very difficult for me to leave. The day before yesterday I was asked if I wouldn’t mind having a long day on Tuesdays through out August. Apparently they really need me for a couple of clients. I think they’re trying to help me come to terms with all the big changes that I’m going through. The job is really nice and I’ll be working with a couple of adolescents who only speak Arabic. My weakness is simple; if someone is in need I can’t refuse to help if I know I can do a good job. I said yes. I’ll be in London every Tuesday in August and I wont finish until 9pm. This means that once a week (at least) I’ll spend the night at my parents place. Somehow this has eased my mind. My colleagues are also trying to see if I can do half a day on Wednesdays. I think this would be really good for me until I’m settled.
My biggest issue is losing my independence and not finding an adequate job. Although I submitted my notice work are reluctant to let me go. Officially it’s been accepted and unofficially they want me to remain on a part time basis.
I’m feeling excited and sad about moving. Sad because there are so many big changes going on with my friends and family and I am usually the person to support and help out. I feel I’m going to be so far from everyone. In general I’m a woman with routine and keep myself very busy. There are many communities that I’m not going to be part of and I’m going to miss these activities, groups and people. I’ve got to say that I also don’t like the house we’re moving into. C chose it and the day she chose it we were both mad at each other. She admitted that she chose it to piss me off. I didn’t like it for a few valid reasons. Earlier this year the road flooded quite badly and residents were forced to take shelter at a local community centre. Second reason, there’s no parking. Basically it’s residents only and one permit per household plus one visitors parking permit. I’ll be using visitors permit and C will have the residents permit. That means any of my friends who come can park in the supermarket car park for 2 hours. Also means my family won’t be able to come stay unless I am prepared to pick them up and drop them off. We could have found a place with a drive and on road parking but C was on a mission to piss me off that day. Admittedly I’d been a bit of a bitch. However, that doesn’t mean immature and irrational decision should be made.
I’m back to the -I’m going to give it 6 months – and then decide what I’ll do. Not a healthy frame of mind but one that makes me feel settled. C and I also had a conversation about this and she can see why I’m in this frame of mind. It’s like she’s calling all the shots and I’m meang to be a puppy wagging my tail and happy to follow blindly. I’ve asked her to help me by considering this as a adventure. She’s trying.
For now I’ll work on my tan and pack in between.