In life, in general, I tend to remain neutral when it comes to many issues. Generally I like to keep the peace and I tend to get on with most people. As with most families mine has its fair share of drama. I’m talking extended family. My family is huge compared to many other families. I have about 30 first cousins, approximately 16 aunts and uncles (some of which are now deceased) and about 40+ second cousins. I know I have 3 surviving great aunts and I think about 3 great uncles. I have relatives all over the usa, scattered across western Europe and some scattered across the middle east.
I’m in contact with almost all of my relatives. I treat them all the same – apart from a few of my cousins that I’m very close to and they’re mostly the European ones and a couple in usa and a couple in Lebanon. I’m lucky in the sense that I can see them, communicate with them and even arrange holidays with them every once in a while. I’m also lucky that I’ve been in a position to travel to some very nice parts of the world to meet my relatives. The best part for me is that my immediate family and I have almost always lived in the UK with no other family members around. That means we’ve gotten on well with everyone and we’ve never taken sides when there’s been drama or nonsense going on between them.
In the last few years a couple of my cousins have moved to London to study and work. That’s been really nice, I get to hang out with them at least once a month. Then my uncle and his wife retired and moved from the east coast (usa) to London. That’s been nice too since I get to see them a couple of times a month.
My parents have worked very hard is keeping my sisters and I out of family dramas and nonsense that’s occurred during the years. I’ve never been interested in the gossiping and the rivalry between them. I’ve always taken a neutral stance.
Yesterday I was really rather shocked when an aunt of mine (fathers side) sent me a series of nasty text messages attacking my mother’s side of the family. I read and reread the message several times. I was really shocked. I’ve always been close to both sides of the family and I’ve never differentiated between the two. It took me 8 hours to reply to her. I was a cunt. I’m never usually a cunt. I just couldn’t take a neutral position because I was being dragged into something that has nothing to do with me. I’ve never been a cunt to a family member before. My dad’s youngest sister saw the worst of me yesterday. I was harsh and hard and straight to the point. I didn’t say anything I’d regret and I didn’t defend or attack anyone; I remained neutral. What I did do though was make a very clear point that I’m not going to be used as a mouthpiece or put in the middle of something that has absolutely nothing to do with me or my immediate family.
I’ve not told my parents about the messages because that could potentially start a massive family feud and there’s nothing worse than my parents fighting over their stupid siblings nonsense. This morning though I woke up exhausted. I didn’t even tell C about any of the messages. I feel really sad that my aunt saw the real cunt in me and that I was put in a position to be so horrible. I did wake up to a series of messages from her apologising for the position that she put me in. Still, my attitude was so hard and I woke up thinking; since when did I become such a hard and detached person? That’s really what’s made me feel so sad.